My dear Alfred!

Alfred, he's my colleague. Lately, it seems as though he's consumed my entire life. I spend the whole day in his company. When that's done, i'm talking about him to all my friends. And all of them seem so curious to know about him! I get calls enquiring about Alfred's wellbeing everyday. All of a sudden I realise how many of my friends' calls I've missed because of lack of an Alfred in my life. But now, it's no longer the case!

You might expect me to confess my love for Alfred in the following lines, but let me save all the build up of a climax - nothing of the sort awaits your attention. In fact, what's waiting is an acount of the weirdest character I've met in my life! Undoubtedly!

Firstly, he's no macho man. He's shorter than me. Now, that's a statement in itself, quite definitive, considering i'm one of the shortest females you'll ever meet. And when I stand right in front of him, I can see the top of his head covered with jet black hair. Hair well groomed, not in the most fashion sensible manner but: parted at the centre of his head, each strand of it dripping with oil! And two curvy locks hang right on the forehead, like fangs of a venomous snake.

His gait is another aspect which surely needs mention. His back is always erect, as though a plank of wood is stitched tightly with his vertebral column. Each stride of his would involve a push of the shoulder blades in alternating order, once right then left. His hands would remain safe in the front pockets of his pants constantly in search of some hidden treasure, may be!

He loves wearing his shades, and has quite a collection of them. All of them seem picked from a roadside vendor after keen deliberation of frame shape and colour. He would resist taking the glares off even after entering the darkest dungeons. It's funny to spot him peering at scrawny writings on the walls or papers with his glares on. He lacks the commonest sense to do away with them in such situations, guess he believes in giving himself enough challenges in life! After all, he's one of the National Cadet Corps members, that's what i hear him harping about half a day long, everday!

His talks are something that amaze me the most. He would start off questioning your opinion regarding something, for instance he would ask, "Whom do you blame for corruption?" And before I can even open my mouth one tenth of it's capacity, he would be on his own trip! "I think, it's wrong to place the entire blame on the officials. If the public stops offering them money, they wouldn't have any option but to do their jobs the right way." I can only try butting in, for he's got great conviction! He'll go on and on, " And, don't you think it's wrong to blame the system when you aren't ready to be a partof the system? I think it's wrong, to make any changes, you have to first be an insider......bleh blah bluh.."

One of my friends thinks he doesn't belong to this generation! That's very interesting and true. For, his use of language is totally uncharacteristic. One such incident: There was a movie discussion, something that happens all the time. My friend Alfred thinks 'Kya Cool Hain Hum' is a great movie. I beg to differ, so i say, "Alfred, that's a damn sad movie!" And dear Alfred takes it literally, " No, it's a comedy. How can you call it sad?" Ohhhh Myyyyy Gaawd!
And he's still stuck in the era of using "Housie" as a game to entertain the children and hold their attention. Wake up, it's the age of Play Stations!

It's non-stop entertainment in his company, though he tends to get on your nerves at times. Never mind. I'm looking forward to more of "Alfred Quotes" to keep posting here! Here i come Alfred...!